Hang with ‘em Brewers! poll—let me know what you think. Am I secretly married to Ryan Braun?
Consider the following.
- Ryan likes to date extremely attractive super model type women. Seth would like to date extremely attractive super model type women.
- Ryan attended the University of Miami. Seth hates Miami and makes fun of its basketball team.
- Ryan is an investor in and frequent promoter of a T-shirt line, Remetee. Seth would rather be man-scaped in front of thousands than wear a Remetee.
- Speaking of man-scaping. Ryan, obviously. Seth, never.
- Ryan has drawn the ire of the likes of Tony LaRussa, Bob Howry and Bob Brenly—and the baseball establishment—with some of his emotional celebrations. Seth is Swedish and Norwegian.
- Ryan has hit 117 major league homeruns and boasts a .305 lifetime BA and a .918 lifetime OPS. Seth displays above average power in our slow-pitch softball league.
- Ryan’s nickname is Braunie. (I’ve never seen any proof that anyone in the dugout actually calls him the Hebrew Hammer.) Sometimes I call Seth, Honey Bunny, but in a totally sarcastic way.
- Ryan’s got restaurants, a clothing line, and endorses a protein drink and an airline. Seth is an heir to the Bohemian Ovens (my parents’ restaurant) fortune.
- Ryan has an eight-year deal with Milwaukee that goes through the 2015 season. Seth inked a long-term deal with me, a Brewers fan, in 2004 for the long haul. SMA ∞ REH
(Seth, below, sponsored by Nike. Ryan, right, pleading with God for some pitching.)
Brewers 9, Braves 3
Game played 7-16-10
Seth has above average power? His slugging must be at least 1.250. Admittedly it'd be lower if the girl in RF could ever catch one of those lazy fly balls.
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