Tuesday, August 30, 2011

You can lead a horse to water and you can make him drink but you can't shove a straw up his ass to make him swallow

Following Tuesday night's game against the St. Louis Cardinals, I found myself flipping between channels trying to think about anything other than baseball. There is nothing wrong with losing (once in a great while) but losses like tonight's tend to haunt me for a bit so I try to watch something that has no chance of reminding me of what just happened on the diamond.

Tonight, I stopped on Spike TV to investigate a show called Repo Games. Holy crap. Where do I even begin? The segment of the show that I happened upon had the "host" of the show trying to get the owner of a truck to come to the door so that he can ask him some trivia questions in hopes of having said host pay off the truck and not repo it. (Apparently this is what happens in each segment.) In this particular episode, the owner didn't want to come forward because he thought that the host (and the camera crew) was the police.

In response to the truck owner not coming forward to answer trivia questions, the host (whose name is Josh Lewis) said the following: You can lead a horse to water and you can make him drink but you can't shove a straw up his ass to make him swallow.

Sage advice. 

Then the audience was switched to co-host, Tom DeTone, who informed us that he is about to repossess a 2005 Ford Taurus. The car owner's daughter then pulls up and blocks the tow truck's exit. After a brief negotiation, the mother and daughter team agreed to answer trivia questions in order to save the Taurus. After getting two right and two wrong, it all came down to one final trivia question.

What trees found in the Sequoia National Park are the biggest in the World?  Suspense builds. Will she keep her car? Or will it be towed away? The Taurus owner comes up with a Sequoia and maintains possession of her Taurus. Whewwwww. How does this show happen?

In tonight's game, the Brewers were getting all the trivia right until the top of the fifth inning. In that fateful inning, Prince Fielder booted a ground ball hit by Skip Schumaker to lead off the inning. This was immediately followed by Rafael Furcal hitting one to Jerry Hairston that he booted. Runners on first and second, no outs. Yadier Molina followed with a single. Bases loaded with no outs. Shaun Marcum then gave up a two-strike hit to the pitcher to score a run. The fact that Milwaukee got out of that mess only giving up one more run was a minor miracle. Still, two errors to start the inning ... haunting.

Yet, the Brewers had plenty of chances to get their Taurus off the tow truck and couldn't do it. In the bottom of the sixth inning, Corey Hart hit a lead off double that narrowly missed clearing the fence. Then Nyjer Morgan followed suit. Braun got Morgan to third on a ground out but Prince stuck out and Casey lined out. In the ninth inning, Prince and Casey walked to start the inning. But Betancourt had a straw up his ass and didn't drink ... or something ... because he bunted one off of his hand that led to a force out a third base. And Mark Kotsay was nothing like a Sequoia as he grounded into a double play to end the game.

Repo Games is bad. Tonight's game was bad.

Cardinals 2, Brewers 1
Game played 8-30-11

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