Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Death Cab for Chapman

Today's post celebrates smooth talking Cincinnati TV announcers Chris Welsh and Thom Brennaman. (Direct TV had only the Reds feed for today's finale in Cincinnati. The Brewers were trying to avoid the sweep.)

The first gem came in the third inning. It literally caused me to turn to Seth and ask what the hell was just said.

Thom: One and one to the pitcher Narveson, who can hit. He has 12 hits in 39 at-bats, with six runs batted in.

Chris: Back to back nights for the Brewers where they're sending out some lanzadors who can pole a little bit.

Awkward silence.

Chris: A lanzador is Spanish for pitcher. And pole is another way of saying hit.


Narveson would eventually pole his way to first (get a pole?) (just pole?) with a single to center in this at-bat. Later, Narveson would drive in Milwaukee's only run with a two-out pole to left. Feel free to make your own jokes in the comments section.


In the fourth inning, "Jeff from Cincinnati" sent the following question to the booth:  Thom & Chris: What would your music be if you were coming up to bat?

Thom: Now Chris, what would be your music if you were coming up to bat? You know, players get to pick what song they play when they come to the plate. You'd probably like something from, like, ahh, Culture Club.

Chris: I'm probably a little more ahh, Death Cab for Cutie.

Thom: What is that? Is that like a Teletubbie song or something? What is that?

Chris: It's just like a Teletubbie song, yah....   And yours?

Thom: I don't know. I have to think about it. I want to make sure that I get the right one. Probably something Culture Club, you know, something like that.

Chris: Toss up between that and Boy George?

Thom: Yes (giggling).

Apparently, there is nothing wrong with a good mancrush, however, as long as it's Aroldis Chapman you're crushing on and not Boy George. Thom actually compared Chapman's appearance and reception in last night's game to Randy Johnson's in the seventh game of the 2001 World Series. Yes, Thom, pitching the eighth inning with an 8-3 lead in September and being greeted by a standing ovation of 19,218 was just like the time Johnson pitched the ninth inning of game seven of the world series in front of 54,000 screaming fans. I can see how Chapman's long legs reminded you of Johnson's long legs and how it was sooo similar.

Chapman would go on to pick up his first major league victory as the Reds rallied from a 0-1 deficit with six runs in seventh inning. Macha had a quick hook and pulled Narveson after a lead-off double in the seventh. From there, it got ugly quick, as Todd Coffey and Mike McClendon gave up five runs.

For the second night in a row, the Brewers were unable to get a hit off Chapman, who pitched scoreless seventh and eighth innings. After the seventh inning, Chris could hardly control himself.

Chris: What do you think Aroldis Chapman is thinking when he comes off the mound like that? Like, is there a higher league somewhere? Maybe this isn't as hard as I thought?

Reds 6, Brewers 1
Game played 9-1-10


  1. DirecTV only had the FS Ohio broadcast of last night's game because the Brewer feed was WMLW. You could stare at a radio and get roughly the same picture WMLW provides.

  2. Chris you are a douche