Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Alternate universe

I work in an office building in downtown Minneapolis. It's located on a pedestrian mall and the sidewalks along it are usually filled with a lot of professionals scurrying around. There are lots of nice restaurants and stores along the mall. Dress on the mall is almost universally business casual.

Step into the Walgreen's on the mall, however, and you'll enter a totally different universe. All those professionals you see everywhere else, they aren't in Walgreen's. The people that you see in Walgreen's seem to only exist within the confines of Walgreen's. Homeless chic rules in this Walgreen's. My friends Chris and Beth dubbed this Walgreen's, Alternate Universe Walgreen's. This doesn't stop me from shopping at this Walgreen's. Quite the opposite, in fact. It makes me more likely to stop by just to witness the happenings. There are the people loading up on the 5 for $5 hydrogen peroxide or the crazy lady yelling that Hilary Clinton stole her dog. The other day a woman in the Walgreen's walked up to her male friend, who was in a wheel chair, and berated him for not moving faster. "We have to get out of this f&ck hole! F&ucking weirdos!" I don't think she saw the irony that I did.

When I stumbled upon the Brewers line-up on Monday night, I felt like I had entered yet another alternate universe. Somehow our shortstop was starting in rightfield, our newly recalled rookie in centerfield and our utility infielder in leftfield. Did someone drink too much hydrogen peroxide?

Escobar RF
Counsell SS
Weeks 2B
Fielder 1B
McGehee 3B
Cain CF
Inglett LF
Lucroy C
Narveson P

The events that precipitated this unconventional line-up were as follows: Jim Edmonds was dealt to Cincinnati for Chris Dickerson but Dickerson missed his flight and did not arrive at Miller Park until the 10th inning; Ryan Braun hurt his wrist running to first base; Corey Hart had a sore back; Jody Geret has been on the DL for, like, ever; and Carlos Gomez was placed on the 15-day DL after being hit in the head by a pitch.

Alternate Universe Brewers had a chance to win, largely because Ian Kennedy had little to no control. He hit three batters and a couple of runs scored on wild pitches. Milwaukee led 4-3 heading into the ninth. Enter the Axman. Unfortunately for the Brewers, CB Buckner was behind the plate and he decided to contract the strike zone. Ax walked two batters and gave up the tying run. Hoffman pitched the tenth and it got ugly. As awesome as Saturday night was for Trevor, Monday night was awful.

I'm ready to enter the alternate universe where the Brewers win a lot of games.

Diamondbacks 7, Brewers 4
Game played 8-9-10

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